'I'm done with this place': Female Professional Fed up With Male Teammates Who Have Lesser Credentials Yet Dismiss Her Opinions, Leading Them to Get Promoted, and Her to Be Left Behind

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    After 2.5 years at the same team I realised how little my male colleague thinks of my opinion
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    After 2.5 years at the same team I realised how little my male colleague thinks of my opinion
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    So I just had this very frustrating experience in our organisation's long-term planning session. Out of the six team members (I am the only woman), only me and one male teammate were present as well as our manager. We were supposed to brainstorm ideas about our vision and plans and projects. Whenever the guy would start speaking he would then say something along the lines of "But this is just my opinion. I wish we had the rest of the team here so we wouldn't have only my opinions" .....
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    basically saying that he didn't care about anything I said and that he wants the real team members - all guys to show up. He repeated that same sentence like five times after he spoke. I got annoyed and told him we don't have others there so maybe we can just work together on it? He ignored it or just maybe didn't understand my absolute heresy of a request.
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    I am really dissappointed and demotivated and actually even a bit hurt ever since that exchange. We have been working closely on the same team for over two and a half years yet I basically have no value as a team member. This cut extra deep as there are guys on my team getting promotions from my level who are younger than me, joined later than me, have less degrees and less experience, all the while my promotion is being blocked for extremely vague reasons - none of their "reasons" are documente
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    I am just very disheartened and I don't know how to say at the standup tomorrow that I have no updates because I did f-ck all because I just hate them all so much.
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    4rp70x1n 13 hr. ago Start looking for another job. Your manager (and probably the rest of your team) are complicit. In my experience, these situations get worse, not better. I left tech in 2019 after a string of increasingly dysfunctional teams/managers. 81 Reply Share
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    Quiet_Violinist6126.9 hr. ago Where did you go after leaving tec 10 Reply Share therhz OP. 54 min. ago Thank you! I've been applying for new jobs for a few weeks now. I've had some interviews and some others are lined up. The situation in tech looked bad for a while but it seems to be improving. 2 Reply Share
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    Blackstar1401. 12 hr. ago Time to job hop. If you were there for 2.5 years and they aren't moving you or respect your opinion then you need to find a company that will. Use the experience and push then leave Glassdoor review. 35 Reply Share Blackstar1401 · 12 hr. ago If they were then I would recommend riding the experience until you park then move to the next job. Don't get stuck due to complacency. If they have
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    an HR exit interview then let them know when you are on the way out the door. Don't say anything until you have a new job. 9 Reply Share therhz OP 1 hr. ago That's exactly what I'm doing... been interviewing for other companies for a few weeks now. Requested an internal transfer to another team/office but apparently I can't
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    do that until I get the promotion to the next level. Also my manager and manager's manager are aware of the fact that I requested it but I still see very little motivation from them to improve my situation. I don't like my manager as I feel like he has neglected my promo and prefers the guys.
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    caligirl_ksay 10 hr. ago This is when you have to be assertive. You have to say "well I am here and I'm a team member, we can at least do some work together and not waste time." Unfortunately unless you call it out... it never will change. Most of these men don't even notice what they're doing, it's such a passive form of se sm. Call it out. If they don't respect you for it then it's time to leave.
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    ThrowRA_ultrabotanic · 3 hr. ago I've been at this kind of job before. Leaving is the best & most realistic solution. Companies like this are rotten top down. If you are equally qualified and have been asking for promotions, but somehow all the promotions/juicy projects go to the guys, it's a top down problem & unlikely to change. Sorry this happened to you, better luck at the next job! 5 Reply Share
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    therhz OP. 58 min. ago Ah actually that is another frustrating part, I've been pigeonholed into this one project that nobody else wants to work on. I'm a developer and instead of developing new stuff that project is about cleaning up some legacy things that has been sitting there 7+ years. I have been doing that for 2 years now and they want me to "complete" the clean up before I get the promo... The guys have got the fun projects of developing new features
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    ThrowRA_ultrabotanic 35 min. ago Yep, that sounds very familiar! Don't bother completing the project. Even if they do promote you after, chances are pretty good you'll still be saddled with the projects nobody else wants to do. Just get out of there as soon as you can. It's sad, but from my experience, it won't get better. It's a company culture problem, very unlikely to change unless management gets a massive overhaul.
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    horus-heresy 9 hr. ago Schedule skip level 1:1 with your managers manager or director/vp of the department depending on size and structure. This will straighten out dynamic real quick, put you out there in the orbit with people who decide promotions unless whole vertical of power is rotten completely and it is an opportunity for a change
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    therhz OP 57 min. ago • I had a 1:1 with my manager's manager after she saw I was requesting internal transfers to other teams... don't think it will lead to anything though. She was nice however but made no promises to intervene or take any actions
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    gekigangerii 13 hr. ago I read the situation differently. Your teammate doesn't feel qualified to be in a meeting about setting future direction when 2/3 of the team is not attending. And not a reflection about the value of your opinion.
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    RideNDie4444. 12 hr. ago As a 45 yr old female engineer - I have the same advice, I have been in similar situations as yours, and it burns me up and makes me spiral. Or you flip the perspective, give benefit of doubt and start speaking up more and giving your unsolicited opinions with no f ks to give and you will find the situation starts to move in your favor. Point being, don't spiral in the hate, let your actions from here on out be for you - whether it's finding a new job and speaking up mor
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    Opposite Bug2126.34 min. ago Definitely leave. It usually makes little sense financially to keep staying after promotion anyway. You'll get paid more for a more senior role at another company than your current one. Companies don't incentivize promotion that much because the raise you get is marginal compared to what you could negotiate at a similar company for the same level

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